River

There’s a river in my eyes and it flowed through and through tonight.

My deepest thoughts and emotions are always carried by the waters. This is the reason why I like it when it rains, when the raindrops touches my face and hide the tears away. This is the reason why I like swimming, I could submerge my self for a few seconds and cry all I want and have an excuse why my eyes are red.

I’ve been crying all my life and somehow it’s been normal. I cry when my heart’s tremendously happy, touched or moved. I cry when I am sad, disappointed or angry.

There is a quote, it says, “If you want to get to know someone, find out the reason why he is angry.” As for me, if you want to get to know more of me, try to find out the reason why I cry. But don’t ask me, because answering and telling what I feel is too hard to do. Don’t get angry with me, because it would hurt even more.

No one is at fault when I cry. And I always been thankful when I could cry, that means I can still feel and that I have emotion still. I tried not crying, I stopped crying and it didn’t turn out well. Hard and cold is not good for me, that meant I don’t care and been swayed away from the right track. I guess I didn’t even care about everyone around me.. And concentrated on not crying, and pretending I am strong.. But in the real sense of it, empty.

But after a year or so I did start crying again, I missed it, how it’s always been a river. How words need not to be said, and let the tears carry it all. How as my eyes are welled my heart is also, and I feel relieved.